Rae Roy

Image by Paul Brennan from Pixabay. The focus of this week at home was to get my main living area reorganized. As a full week was ahead of me, I knew I wasn't likely to get a lot more done, but just having my furniture in the right places would make me feel better about the state of Tiny Condo. This started with purging the awful excuse for a gaming chair that I had for a bit. It was uncomfortable, the arms broke, and the vinyl on it was flimsy. Monday was bulk item day for this month at my building. I missed it the previous month and made sure not to miss it again. Monday evening and quite a bit of Tuesday was spent on getting set up and though I was quite sore, I felt happy to be making a huge amount of progress. On Monday, I got my desk and seating into the living room. On Tuesday, I relocated my air conditioner to my new music space. I cleaned the windows in the living room (from the inside). I set up some of my music items in the music room. I wanted to do more, but my back wa

This week I've made a bigger mess at home in order to get it in order. Breaking a few eggs and all that. I relocated my headboard to my bedroom, so it's actually a headboard again. I was using it as an art shelf for my very large Doré print of Souvenir of Loch Lomand . It became my favourite after an enjoyable date at the National Gallery many years ago. I switched to a couple of large hooks once I figured out how high to put them on the wall. This reclaimed 11 inches of space between my TV and my daybed/couch, while making my bedroom feel more complete. It wasn't without a fight. The hooks come with the part that is screwed onto the wall flipped from how it needs to go on the wall. They also didn't come with enough screws to keep them in place correctly. I also had to get two new surge protectors that had flat plug heads on them or I wouldn't have been able to have my daybed couch against the wall. At least I found a deal on those, but talk about spending money I w

Early in the week, I read some posts online that suggested we are supposed to be the most unhappy in our 40s. That has not been my experience despite the increase in thoughts of mortality and questions about the whole of existence, which are normal in middle age. Yeah, apparently 40 is middle age, so I've been in it for a little while. I spent my 20s attached then married, my 30s healing from that, and in my 40s, I feel like my life is improving by the day.  Does that mean everything is perfect? Nope. But I am putting a lot of effort into building a foundation for my creative efforts and that is bringing me a deep sense of happiness because I've yearned to reach these steps for so many years. Starting a newsletter has been helpful for accountability. Joining team sports has also been helpful for my self-esteem, my social life, and my self-improvement. Learning to work better with my brain is making my everyday a little bit smoother. I still have meltdowns from time to time and

Since Week 32 was a vacation week where I just spent time with family and did very low key things like thrifting, I'm skipping that one. Week 33 started with a vacation day to recover from the vacation. Since then, I've been working hard on my decluttering efforts. I should be writing, but I'm finally making progress in this other area that has been such a pain point for me.  I began reorganizing my living room. First, I moved my rowing machine into my bedroom next to where I keep all my sporty items. Once that was out of the living room, I could better see the rest of the room, what needed to be moved around, and I could move it around, so I did. I moved my sewing desk near my balcony door, which was swapped with the cabinet that was there before. That cabinet is closer to my TV area, which makes great sense since my movies and liquor are in and on it. I moved my IKEA PS unit that holds my music related items like small instruments, sheet music, and cables. I was using it

It's unorthodox, but I'm starting this review with some of the technical aspects that are often overlooked.  The set design was phenomenal. They pretty much travel with a stage they place on top of the venue's stage. There is a rotating piece that adds to the action on stage. Two of the massive winged seated sections move as well, which adds to the atmosphere. I enjoyed seeing the band on stage as part of the show rather than stuck in an orchestra pit where no one can see how much they contribute. Hades was well cast. His deep voice was perfectly chosen to effectively capture the essence of this powerful god. Eurydice was hot. She was my favourite singer and I loved the duet with Orpheus. She was also an accomplished dancer. Orpheus was well cast. He had a sweet innocence about him. His voice was reminicent of Jaskier from The Witcher . I found Hermes just OK for me. I felt like something was missing with his performance or perhaps the issue was that the transit

Monday Work Life: My document is indeed ready for publishing. Mood: Relieved. New admin things that have lots of steps are hard for me to learn and complete. I survived though! Home Life: I did a bunch of work on the July playlist for the next edition of my newsletter. I also got back to my Fairy Cross-Stitch project. If you want to see how that is going or to hear the playlist, please sign up for my monthly newsletter. Tuesday Work Life: We had a very productive meeting on issues we had last year and great ideas on how to improve the process. Of course, now that I'm in a different role, it doesn't help me a ton, but at least things are improving. Mood: My mood isn't the best today. I don't really want to do anything, but I don't want to let other people down. Home Life: It helped to go out and see my goth friends even though I was wanting to stay home. Wednesday Work Life: It was a pretty typical Wednesday. Most things are waiting for other people. Mood: Frustrate

Monday Work Life: I was thankful that I didn't need to be physically in the office given that the LRT is broken. It's truly awful at this point. On Thursday, a woman who had been struck by one of the replacement buses, succumbed to her injuries. These things shouldn't be happening regardless of the LRT, but it feels like there is yet another tragedy connected to it. She was only 26-years-old. Mood: I was anxious about not having practiced enough before the jam, but I realized it's OK to be a beginner. I think I had been placing extra stress on myself to be further along in music than I am because I used to play in music classes and  in brass band. But I'm learning new things and I'm trying to create as well. I was putting myself under pressure like that because perfectionism isn't uncommon with ADHD. It's a way I have masked how much of a dumpster fire I think I can be at times. But I'm not a dumpster fires and I shouldn't feel shame for struggli

Monday Work: It was a productive day and I even had time to start working on process improvement efforts that have been on the back burner for many months. Mood: I couldn't get the blog post out. Why? Because I'm so sick of trying to figure out what tags to use. Why can't I be normal and just know things like that? Why is it so damned elusive? Why do I sit here wondering how much I should've written about a topic before it deserves a tag? Why isn't it all handled via a content search instead of this extra step of beaucracy?! I'm also hating blog post titles. Do I REALLY need them every week? Home: I spent the evening reading Girls Like Girls  by Hayley Kiyoko. I had to force myself to put it down because I was hungry in more ways than one. Tuesday Work: In the early morning, I joined people from my portfolio at a breakfast event. It was great meeting people in person that I communicate with via email all the time. After the breakfast, which was at Ne

Monday Work: It was an in-office work day and I could hardly focus on anything, so it was a good thing that I had cleared a lot of my inbox on Friday. I did get notes to help me later with my first tender document at least. Home: I dropped by a shop to replace my 510 CBD set up, which I had lost in the park on the weekend or somewhere else. I really have no idea where it got to. Since I'm allergic to Plaquenil a.k.a. Hydroxychloroquine, my options are limited in managing Sjogren's. I got a cute rainbow one that I like better now that I'm used to it. Being a goth comes with having so many black items that it can be hard to locate them at times. Tuesday Work: I could focus quite a lot better, but most items are waiting on someone else. I started making changes to the tender document, but had to fight with the template some. I eventually figured out that I had to force the numbering to make it do what was needed. Home: In the evening, I visited friends. This was partly to get

Monday was a stat holiday since Canada Day happened on the weekend. I mainly spent it catching up around the house while watching Deadloch and cross-stitching. If you haven't seen it, it's set in Tasmania, features a lesbian detective with an obnoxious partner who provides much of the comedic elements. They attempt to solve homicides together. There are so many hilarious lines like, "Serial killers love routines." To which Sven responds, "Like babies." I also filled out the form for yoga at work and fit in some keytar practice. Tuesday was sending the budget out and catching up around the house and at work before visiting with my goth friends. I was invited to the virtual yoga sessions at work and looked forward to that as I made space for it in my home. I also worked on my passport application. It should have been a renewal, but I was just outside of the expiry window for that. My old one was in my married name and I think it'll be nice for that to hav

  The first issue of my newsletter is live! Check out my newsletter,  Rae's Record  for the latest news on my goals, my ADHD journey, a monthly playlist, and special content. Much more to come as I update my website and really get cracking on my goals like never before ;)

Image by Tumisu from Pixabay Announcement! My newsletter drops this week. Subscribe here! *** Monday was an in-office day. Last week's inability to handle how large my inbox had bloomed in an afternoon was no longer an issue. I got my over 60 messages down to 15. Most of them required some sort of action from me, so I was really pleased with that. I felt a bit queasy heading home as there were a number of people who didn't smell good on transit that afternoon. It reminded me of that summer I worked in fast food. Tuesday had me less focused, but I got a project moved to the next stage, I posted last week's blog post, and I finished the bulk of my newsletter. Part of me wondered whether or not I should be adding that to my to-do list despite how much was already on my plate, but I also thought it was a good way to mark this life change. As part of that, I was able to get registered to hopefully find a new doctor. I wanted to go with a nurse practitioner, but they aren't c

Another Monday is done. I felt pretty scatter-brained today though I did get some things done like my blog post. The weekend caught up to me and I was quite tired though. I saw the perfect thing for my streaming area and I'm thankful my brother could get it for me. It will really help me clean the area up without having to build something though I'll want to sand and paint it. I spent some of the day working on a new project that I will launch soon: Rae's Record . What is that? See the end of this post for details.* Tuesday was an in-office day and the day I received my ADHD diagnosis*. As I suspected, I have the primarily Inattentive type of ADHD. That's the one involving daydreaming rather than running around or fidgetting. I also have some learning issues that make things difficult for me. I'm still parsing all of it and there is a lot to learn. After that therapy appointment was done, I hung out with my goth friends for dinner and chatting. Wednesday was work fo

And we're back to Monday. I did some work then stepped out for fillings in the right side of my mouth. It had been very sensitive to drink anything. I preemptively took some Aleve, which helped reduce some of the pain. Especially for when the dentist opted to not freeze my main nerve in order to allow me to speak and such after the fillings. There were about 6 seconds of pain when she drilled, which felt like an eternity. My superintendent was concerned when he saw me in the lobby as I looked rather like I had had a stroke because half of my face was a bit droopy.  I assured him I was good. Unexpectedly, a friend reached out about the Ottawa Pixies event she was having and I spent the evening in good company debating what intelligence is after we watched a short documentary. I'm really glad she reached out because Facebook's algorithms didn't show it to me despite having that group in my Favourites. Reasons I'm increasingly finding little use in Facebook include tha

Monday. My least favourite day of the week. This one started with my least favourite thing: the dentist. It was a cleaning plus x-rays, plus measurements kind of appointment. I'll be back there next week and in July to handle some small cavities. After that, I did some more work while eating lunch before heading out to get my summer tires installed. I'm so glad I pay for them to store the tires these days. It makes it so much easier. I completely forgot about my hubcaps, so they aren't on this year. Tuesday brought me an office upgrade. I ordered a chair mat that is also anti-fatigue, so I can hopefully make more use of my standing desk option. We'll see if my ankles and feet handle it OK. Due to the awful air quality, I didn't attend my usual biweekly meetup. It was Diablo IV release day anyway, so I didn't mind staying home to get all my characters started. On Wednesday, I got a lot done at work and a lot done around the house. I also got a lot done in Minecra

I'm feeling less anxious than I have in a long time. I've met my softball team and they're really welcoming. The Hayley Kiyoko concert had me in a room full of kindred spirits, which has made me feel less alone in the world. I even ran into a colleague there, though we got separated, so we caught up at work instead. We're on the pride committee together. She plays roller derby in the league I was part of. Well, since the two leagues amalgamated, it's technically a new league entirely.  Roller derby is another thing I did that should've been a clue that I was gay. I kept finding myself in queer spaces like that and didn't know why. Not that everyone in derby is part of the rainbow community, but a high percentage are. Seeing a woman comfort her girlfriend stuck in my mind for many years. Love is love. On Monday, I visited Montreal's Botanical Gardens before heading back to Ottawa. It was so beautiful and restorative for me. I truly need to get out into na

I had much of this week off because I had some big things planned. Things that were a bit stressful. Monday was Victoria Day, which is a holiday where I am, so it was a time for me to do some admin things like update the tags on the pages on this blog/website. A bunch of things didn't make sense, so I didn't make use of them. The system may automatically configure some things later, I think? This stuff really isn't my forté, but I'm not hiring some rando from the internet, so I ignore all of the emails of that ilk that I get. Unless I get a referral from a friend or I've met you in person, it's not going to happen. Anyway, Monday also brought some stress as I had an important appointment on the horizon for mid-week. Softball practice was a welcome distraction from the anxiety. I felt better after that. I got my team last minute because of some admin stuff and someone being unable to play suddenly. I guess I almost didn't get a team. But everyone who wants to

The Week Monday was a very productive day at work . I was able to hand some things off to our new team member. I've been covering multiple roles for awhile now and burn out was looming menacingly. The day may have been extra productive because I forgot my phone at home by the door... Sometimes I don't know how I blogged at all during this heavy period at work. But it was often the only writing I could manage. I think it helped to get me through it. Curling did as well though I didn't have a lot of social energy during it. Not that I'm a social butterfly anyway. My Enneagram type is 4w5, The Bohemian. I went to events all that time though I wasn't at my best and often just drank through it. Not a healthy way to navigate my social anxiety, for sure. My performance review happened on Tuesday and that went very well. I dropped by Sephora finally to get some better quality makeup in the right colour for my face. Apparently, it's half a shade, so I'm almost a va