Rae Roy

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I spent a lot of today at a doctor's appointment. Telemedicine is wonderful except when there are technical difficulties. If the chairs were comfortable, I think  people wouldn't mind being stuck waiting as much. Do medical offices ever test the chairs before they buy them?

They say that sitting is as bad as smoking now. I suppose streaming services have contributed to this. Before, I might watch one episode of a TV show at night and during the commercials, I would get up and do something in between like put a load of laundry on. I would get up several times during an hour long show. Now, I watch several episodes in succession only getting up to use the washroom or grab a snack.

But I'm an active person at heart. I like taking walks. I love skating. I'm a passionate martial artist. I like geocaching. When I play my guitar, I'm almost al…

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I'm in limbo right now. The job application and interview process is a slow one. Companies take months to get from advertisement to selection. I know this. It doesn't make me feel better, though. I don't want to end up on EI, even if it would be nice to get a little of it back after paying into it for so long.

My days are currently taken up with job searches, applications, etc. And otherwise, I'm trying to get a martial arts seminar booked into a location, which is more difficult than one might think. Some places give preference to organizations that have booked with them before even if it's not a recurring weekly event or they haven't yet booked with them. Seems odd to me. Why wouldn't you go with the guaranteed income? Maybe they're friends.

My job coach says that this period where I'm waiting to hear about jobs is nor…

I haven't felt myself most of this week. The job hunt is ongoing and it is emotionally taxing.

On Monday, I felt anything but merry. I realized I was going stir crazy and the weather was absolutely perfect for a visit to Papanack Park Zoo. I took more videos than photos as my camera is not a DSLR and isn't so great at taking action shots. I spent the bulk of my time there admiring the big cats. Perhaps a strange thing to do for someone with a cat allergy, but they were fascinating. As I walked toward their cages, I could feel the danger in the air. Some of the enclosures reminded me of a wooden version of those found on Jurassic Park. Lions act rather like a mixture of house cat and dog. They pounce if you turn your back on them and jump up excitedly when they see their feeder. This doesn't go on for long as they wear themselves out quickly. They were surprisingly adorable. I never heard any roar, but would have liked to. Tigers are more active and are surprisingly hard to …

Today is an anniversary. I have been without a job for one month.

Here are my goals:

Become bilingual.
Write.
Become an independent contractor.
Get my home clean.
Get fit.

I'll break down the status of each of my goals below.

Become Bilingual

I have registered, paid, and been placed into French level 2. I'm really happy that I found a budget-friendly place to learn French. It is something I've always wanted to do as many of my family members only speak French and I want to be able to talk to them. Family reunions are seldom enough that it's entirely possibly that I will be fluent for the next one!

Write

I am currently editing a short story for publication in an anthology this fall.
I will be doing more edits on my urban fantasy erotica novel before submitting it to a publisher.
I will be writing another short story for winter.

Become an Independent Contractor

I am registered with a recruiter thanks to a friend I will owe dinner to.
I have created a website.
I have met with accountants.
…

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I took in some 2016 Olympics this morning. I'm not an avid watcher, especially of the summer olympics, but a man I went to high school was competing and I wanted to see how things went. I enjoyed watching someone else from my hometown chase their dreams. That was a bit of a pun as he's a runner.

When I was growing up, it seemed a common belief that no one from my little hometown could amount to anything. Also, that everyone would invariably move back there. Many in my generation have refused to give that credence. Many of us are entrepreneurs, artists, top athletes, etc.

I'll be an entrepreneurial artist soon. I'm excited about this, but I'm not in a rush. I'm using this downtime to better organize my home and personally grow. I want to be sure that I'm back in the driver's seat.

Part of that growth has made me realize that I…

I missed Fortifying Friday! For good reasons, though.

Friday was extraordinarily busy. I met with my Job Coach for an hour. Then I did some shopping in preparation for my final project in my Graphic Design Fundamentals course. That took me to lunch time. Had food. Worked on my graphics homework for unit 3, which I still have to finish. Next, I drove my Sempai to my Sensei's house so they could share a cab to the airport. Then, I worked on editing my short story.

Having comments from an editor is a mix of frustration and elation. Some parts are confusing. Some are, "Damn, she's right," or "As if I did that!" And other parts are finding a way to make a change that works for the author, the story, and the editor. Hopefully, I'm accomplishing that. Yesterday, I was stuck on page 2 and feeling like things were hopeless. Today, I'm stuck on page 11. Most of the comments make sense and I agree in some way with them. Some changes I make exactly as suggested a…

Well, here we are at Thursday once again. Things are looking up. I hope I'm not jinxing myself when I say that.

I've nearly finished editing my novel for its next submission attempt. I'm checking through the grammar before submitting it. I expect I'll include a synopsis in the email to them.

I continue to apply for jobs, but having gone to a workshop I learned that Networking is how most jobs are acquired, not applying for them. As such, I've been switching tactics. The hidden job market is accessed through who you know and accounts for most of the job market, apparently. Through a friend I've gotten a meeting set up with a recruiter. The meeting is later today. I hope it goes well.

My severance was more than I expected. I'm hoping I won't have to use all of it to survive and can dump some into RRSPs. We'll see how this all goes. One day at a time.

I'm meeting with my job coach tomorrow morning. We'll see what the thoughts are for me in the comi…

I swear at one point in my life there was a thing about a compass that wouldn't stop spinning. That's how I've been feeling over the past week. I went to a workshop on job searching strategies this morning and I realized I don't need a new career. Writing is my passion. Writing is my career. What I need is a job that ensures I can pay my expenses while I write. 

I took a career aptitude test today and it came out with almost only writing careers. How is that for confirmation? Not that I didn't already know it with every fiber of my being. There is an ache in my heart when I think about writing. It's a yearning so deep that is only eased by writing. 

Only artistic pursuits engross me so completely that I forget to eat meals. I enter a time warp when playing guitar, when writing, and when painting.

The weekend was spent in the company of good friends, or mostly their toddler. He's rather fond of me. Adorable little tyke. I watched his first ever martial arts tes…

What is my life looking like two weeks after being laid off?

Well, I have a job coach that is hopefully going to help me become reemployed. He's set me up with this job site that emails me new jobs everyday. He has also informed me of a place to take French at reduced costs and I'm trying to get registered for the fall session.

I've had some really low moments where all I could do was cry about the unfairness of it all, but I don't languish there because I know that won't get me out of this situation.

There are some really good things happening for me with my writing. I have 2 short stories placed into anthologies and opportunities to write more of them. There are 10 chapters left to edit on my erotica novel before I submit it somewhere new.

I'm really enjoying seeing more of my friends and of the city. Also naps are wonderful.

My spirit is not as high as it usually is, but I'm working on it. I have always been a mostly optimistic person who sees opportunities o…

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I'm a little late on noticing this, but my calendar contains thoughtful statements. Indeed, my Josephine Wall fantasy calendar is stunning and thought-provoking. For August it says, "When we listen to a shell we hear the distant roaring of the sea: when a mermaid looks into one, does she see a scene from the world ashore? Whoever, wherever we are, whatever our limitations, all of us can make the effort of the will it takes to imagine an existence beyond our own."

Being without employment has forced me to breathe. It has made me see what's really important. I've seen more of my city and my friends in the last couple of weeks than I have over an entire quarter. I've seen more clearly what I have and am thankful for.

I barely looked at my calendar's beautiful fantasy scenes each month. What did I miss in the previous months becau…