Rae Roy

I have a lot of cleaning to do. Laundry, dishes, the kitchen, the bathroom, etc. I'm itchy. I'm tired. I'm frustrated. But it has to get done. You see, tomorrow my dojo is hosting an all day seminar. We've been planning it for a while. And some people may be at my place. We're also meeting at a bar tonight because that's how it's done. The truth is that I've been wanting to get my main living areas cleaned up for a while now. Months really. I'm always more motivated to when I might have people coming over for some reason.  Maybe someday I'll just want it clean for me.  I suppose it's partly because I spend so much time in a world of my own making that the house gets neglected. I could be cleaning OR I could be battling dragons and wizards! I could be cleaning OR I could practice my guitar. I could also be learning French, practicing martial arts, watching TV, reading a book, or literally anything is better than cleaning. Yes, I'm stalling...

Sometimes, when I have a bad day, I think I'm the target of some cruel joke. My life hasn't turned out the way I planned. Some things are going well. I've gotten some short stories published and will have books in my hands very soon that I can sell to fund my novel. That's surreal. I need someone to pinch me so I know I'm not just having a good dream. My health is an area that makes me really sad at times. It's where I keep taking the most hits. I started having symptoms at age 14. My parotid salivary glands would swell up. It's always painful when that happens. In my twenties, I experienced an episode of sleep paralysis while hallucinating. It wasn't until about 5 years after that, they said I had narcolepsy. I lived with that for 3 years until no stimulant medication helped and I had the symptoms of stroke so took myself off the meds. My body had decided it wasn't narcoleptic anymore. This was all proven both times by the tests. After that it was d...

Well, I've come to think my rash is a milk reaction as it's exacerbated by dairy intake. Even goat dairy.  And guess what? One of the moisturizers I've been using is oatmeal-based. I react to regular oatmeal when I eat it. Oats are not automatically gluten free. They are often processed in places with wheat and are cross contaminated. But not everyone is skin allergic to the foods they are allergic to.  Of course, I am. Apparently. I've been trying to treat an allergic reaction with another allergic reaction. Talk about a nightmare! No wonder it wasn't getting better. Thanks, Murphy. You always got my back.  I got new moisturizer today as all I had was one tiny hotel bottle. I'm keep using the antifungal cream just in case, though. As you might have guessed, I have been sleeping terribly with all the itchy rash business. I've also had some pretty terrible dreams. Despite the sleeping difficulties, I've come up with a plan for getting my novel, The Page ...

I'm tidying my place because I probably have company coming October 1st. I'm not going to do the KonMari thang and here's why: Just because something doesn't bring me joy, does not mean I don't NEED it. Case and point? My tools. I NEED them in order to accomplish things like oh... putting up curtains, blinds, etc which do give me joy. Plus, they're fucking expensive! I'm not throwing out my photos. They are part of who I am as a person. Clothes are easier to get rid of. I WILL go through my closet and add a layer for my skirts and pants so it is more organized and empty the box that is in there holding who knows what. I'm not getting rid of my old theatre shirts. I will make them into a blanket. I already got rid of some things today. I'm not going to go through all of my things in one day. Why? That is too damned exhausting. It takes too many spoons. There are three reasons why my place gets messy: I'm a busy person between my writing, my soci...

There's nothing quite like scratching an itch. It feels great. Why? Because the pain temporarily interrupts the itchiness, and serotonin is released. The problem is that when it's a serious itch like a fungal infection or eczema, the itch can't be satiated. You end up stuck in a cycle and quite often people scratch until they bleed. Two things helped me get some respite from this ringworm issue last night. One was using a trick I learned from getting a tattoo, which is to slap the itch instead of scratching it. With a tattoo, if you scratch, you will almost certainly get an infection and lose the beautiful art you spent a bunch of money on. With a fungal infection, scratching leads to spreading the infection.  The other helpful thing was to numb it with cold. Frozen green beans for the win. I remember seeing that in a movie. It might have been Big Daddy. Be careful what itches you scratch because you might never find relief. Speaking of relief, I'm off to have a baking ...

Sometimes I think it's odd that I'm still watching certain TV shows. Not because I don't like them or because TV is often seen as a waste of time by others, but because some of these shows I first started watching when they began. The Walking Dead is one such show. It began in 2010. Six years ago, I was married and I had just begun my martial arts career after graduating from university with an honours business degree specializing in technology management. My life has changed drastically yet watching this show brings a strange feeling of home. It gives me a feeling like my life might start making sense again soon, like the missing pieces might soon be found and placed. I was once a small town girl whose only dreams were of settling down and raising a family. I still want that, but now I'm an independent woman with a healthy self-esteem who is chasing a dream I once never dared to have.  I don't know where things are headed with any certainty. Too many things have tu...

[caption id="attachment_4711" align="alignright" width="300"] Image created using Bit Strips.[/caption] Normally,  I'd be less annoyed that it's unseasonably warm. After feeling awful on Friday, Saturday had me visit the urgent care place. I've been fighting with an itch (no, not that kind!) and one of the spots looked rather round and perhaps like a bullseye. But the doctor thinks it's just a fungal thing brought on by getting sweaty in the dojo. Ringworm, actually, which involves no actual worms just appears in rings on the skin. While I'm thankful that it's likely not Lyme Disease, it's no fun trying not to sweat in this weather. I need to stay clean and dry! My visit to the urgent care place may have been just what I needed to get out of the funk I've been in. One never knows what will inspire. As waiting rooms are a mecca for a variety of ailments and personalities, the observant and introverted writer can glean some i...

It's hard to feel anything remotely like fortified when you're feeling crummy. I guess I've had a lot of excitement lately between the national championships, Can-Con, starting a new job, planning a seminar, and starting French class. I shouldn't be shocked that I feel awful.  Also, I'm pretty sure I'm reacting to cow's milk again and that's definitely not helping. But I think I'm also sensitive to almond milk.  All this to say, sometimes you have to take a step back and maybe go for a nap. But I have so much to do that I really don't want to.  Ciao, R~

There is a lot on my mind today. Yesterday, I received a rejection for The Page & The Magician, so I'm processing that and trying to figure out the direction I should take with it. Most erotica publishers only do ebooks and if I'm going that route, I might as well do it myself because I want the option of print books for conventions and such. Plus, a lot of my friends actually prefer physical books with signatures. The job is going mostly well though I'm unsure if I'm completing my work fast enough. I love it though. I often get to work from home often and have a lot of autonomy, which is something I've been craving for a long time now. I still have to pay the parking ticket I received on day one. Meetings are going to be shortened slightly so I don't have to lose half of my day's wages. YAY! The parking in the area of the Gatineau office is street with a limit of 1 hour. Some spots have 2 hour, but those are always taken. Every time some progress is mad...

[caption id="attachment_4711" align="alignright" width="300"] Image created using Bit Strips.[/caption] Can-Con 2016 was this past weekend. Here are the recaps if you want to read them: Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 Following Can-Con, I was off to awards night with my B-Movie club. I read my toddler buddy a story about pugs. None of my movies won, so I'll have to try harder this next season. After back-to-back busy weekends, I was pretty exhausted this morning. I luckily happened onto an email from my boss telling me to be at the other office this morning. The backs of my knees have been itchy since Thursday. I'm trying to figure out what is causing it. Nothing seems to be making it go away. I've tried Gold Bond, After Bite, moisturizer, and allergy pills. I wonder if it's something from a washer or dryer, or a food allergy. I had some PC Organics mozzarella on Thursday. I've tried to submit a question to them, but their web form doesn't...

[caption width="792" align="alignright"] Raeanne G Roy[/caption] The final day of Can-Con was a somewhat rushed affair for me. I just made it in time for a friend's panel on taxes. Next, it was off to meet with my fellow panelists to practice or Swordfighting as two of them live elsewhere and the two of us who live in Ottawa practice divergent styles. Maybe some year we should see what East vs West might look like... After our panel, I mostly networked and bought things until I learned yet more about The Ed Greenwood Group.  Many times throughout the day, despite how busy I was, my thoughts turned to 9/11. Growing up in a town with a major NORAD base, that day's impact was far reaching. I was in college studying social work when the large projection TV screen in the Nipissing University Student Union room was suddenly dominated by the live images of the buildings and people falling.  We went to class and shortly after we were sent home. Smartphones were not ...

Day 2 went pretty smoothly. I think the main highlights for me were the panels involving The Ed Greenwood Group. I'd like to write something for them. The panel on mental health was interesting. They talked about a variety of issues including psychopathy, sociopathy, depression, autism, adhd, anxiety, and post traumatic stress disorder. They said something I wholeheartedly agree with, which was that people are not defined by their mental health or other conditions. Yes, they implant their experience of the world, but they are not their condition. I also identified with what they were saying because of my autoimmune disorder. Someone walked up to me the other day when I was surrounded by a group of strangers and loudly said that he was surprised I do martial arts given my "illness". I do not think of myself as ill. Ill to me implies that I'm dying of cancer or have something like cystic fibrosis and need organ transplants. Largely I manage quite well with very little m...

[caption id="attachment_6532" align="alignright" width="300"] Generic convention pic because Can-Con doesn't have a logo.[/caption] Let me preface this by saying I am a little inebriated. There. Now I'm safe to make any spelling and grammar mistakes. Con is off to a great start. Obviously. Though I think it best not to bring GF beer with me for tomorrow as it got warm despite the ice pack. I hate warm beer. It's the worst thing since ever. Today, I attended a workshop on plot by Julie Czerneda (pronounced like Chernaeda). She was fun and mostly helpful. She threw random pieces of paper at us that had new things we had to suddenly fit into our plot. Well, she didn't actually throw them, but you know what I'm saying. I walked around the Rideau Centre to kill time before the official start. I generally avoid the place. I don't want to pay for parking and it both tires me and hurts to walk around such an expansive place. Also, it's...

I can't believe it starts tomorrow. So much to do before then! Like figure out what food to bring. I figured out a schedule at least. Officially, I am only on one panel and have nothing in the dealer's room, nor am I pitching anything, so I'm pretty wide open to take it all in. My panel is at noon on Sunday. It's Swordfighting 201. Oh, and the parties too. Otherwise, I think I'm going to go to one or two workshops on Friday followed by the following panels: Ursula K. Le Guin: Contributions and Legacy Challenging Creative Marriages: Comic Book Writers and Artists Working Together Portraying Non-Verbal Communication in Prose Saturday Character Arc and Mental Health Epic Fantasy The Ed Greenwood Group Stormtalons Either Renaissance Press Readings OR Unarmed Combat Stormtalons: Closed World Building Want to Dominate the World? 2-hour BREAK from 5-7 What if vN is Just The First Circle of Hell: The Dark Future of Sexuality Paper Airplane Thing OR...

[caption id="attachment_4711" align="alignright" width="300"] Image created using Bit Strips.[/caption] In retrospect, I should have suggested Wednesday as the first day at my new job. This weekend was amazing, enlightening, and reassuring. I was fortunate enough to spend the bulk of it with four fabulous women that I am thankful to have as friends. I got to know several of them better outside of the training environment and I learned we have more in common than I could ever have guessed. I was blessed to be part of a taikai (tournament) team that won bronze, so I have another medal to add to my collection which includes my Catholic school graduation (I was never actually Catholic, but that is a story for another time) and the bronze medal I won at the last taikai I competed it. I have yet to receive even one flag, but I expect if I work harder to improve, they will come in time. Today, one of the wonderful Sensei from Japan told us that taikai is often j...

Hey, Friday has meaning again. Remember that interview? I got the job!!!!! I'll be writing copy and blogging for a marketing company. Writing for a living! So excited!!! I was terrified about the interview. I hadn't done one in three years. And before that, I usually got hired out of a school placement. I used to be terrible at interviews and I didn't have a portfolio, nor knew what to do with one if I had one. I passed the test. He said my writing was actually pretty good! Take that people who didn't support me in the past who are no longer part of my life :P Those things are most definitely related ;) Anyway, I'm going to work my heiny off. He read some copy to me that is amazing and I want to get to that level someday. I'm taking a free course and continuing to learn as much as I can. This means I'm leaving the world of I.T. I spent a long time there, but despite the money I wasn't happy. Writing is my passion. I start on Tuesday after a long weekend ...

A couple of things were on my mind on this beautiful September day. Yesterday, I had an interview. It came with a writing assignment. Followed by a request to reformulate the piece. Followed by silence. Either I failed or the interviewer got busy. It is my dream job, so I'm really hoping I didn't fail, but I will still find a way to write for a living. It is what makes my soul sing and I can't ignore that. But I don't have time to dwell on that because this weekend is the Canadian National Iaido Championships. The what? It's that thing I do where I wear fancy pants and swing a sword about. No, it's not like that girl Jessie something-or-other. We're not about the flashy. I'm hoping I perform better than I did at the last tournament. I had a cold and seasonal allergies assaulting me all at once and I felt barely alive. This time, my legs are a little stronger. I've been working hard on my posture, my focus, and many other things. This time, I'm br...