Rae Roy

So I've realized I really can't sing well in the slightest. But I'm not worried about it. As a petite human with food allergies, I'm kind of used to working within my limitations. I can still learn to play an instrument and either have someone else sing a song I write or I could do spoken word to music, maybe even rap. I'm not super gifted in anything. Everything I've achieved lately is part of about a decade worth of work learning things like how to write better. In the case of my play, it's also partly taking an old interest and redirecting it into the writing side of things instead of the acting/technical side, but all of those roles are helpful in writing. As the last post on superheros this week, I wanted to list some superhero related songs and albums that I'm aware of: Songs Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down Something Just Like This - The Chainsmokers & Coldplay Superheroes - The Script Superhero (feat. Chris Linton) - Unknown Brain Fake Geek Guy - Ka...

[caption id="attachment_10523" align="alignright" width="300"] Image created using Bitmoji[/caption] I hear there are debates that go on about how sex might be with a superhero. Superman - Faster than a speeding bullet. Sperm like a bullet. You'll probably die on impact. Harley Quinn - If you're not the Joker, her heart won't be in it, so expect to be disappointed. Bruce Banner - Don't make him angry. Jean Grey - Either tender or death. The Joker - Really wild, but you probably won't arrive because it was all a joke to him. Catwoman - She's probably flexible, but she'll just use you. Ironman - Tony is all about himself so you'll probably be disappointed. Wonder Woman - Prepare to be submissive. Wolverine - He'll probably ghost you unless your name is Jean Grey. Poison Ivy - Itchy or a lot of bondage. Maybe both. Cyclops - You might die. Things happen and it would only take a second for his glasses to come off unexpected...

I've had a pretty amazing week. Also a very emotional one per my other posts this week. It has also been the kind where I discovered things about my relationships with certain people. I'm sad to say I lost someone I thought was a friend, but several other friendships have been strengthened and I'm immensely grateful for them. Two have been helping me try to get a job at a company I've been wanting to work at for several years now. The first time, I applied to a job that I wasn't qualified for. The second, the position was canceled. I'm truly hoping that the third time is a match. To the super friends that have listened to me rant this week about the one that turned out to be different than I thought, thanks for listening. I have a lot of wonderful people in my life that I'm super thankful for. And I'm sorry to anyone who was looking for this post yesterday. Thank you for your patience with me as I near the completion of a year of school that was heavier ...

[caption id="attachment_11040" align="alignright" width="300"] Image created using Bitmoji[/caption] Gotham tells a different aspect of the Batman story. Not having an in depth knowledge of Batman lore, I can't say whether or not there's been a story before that covers Bruce's years from the time his parents were killed to when he becomes Batman other than the actual moment with the bats. His story has always felt rather like Jesus's to me in that way. But it is also vastly different. Bruce wanted to never feel weak again. Everything he does that leads to him becoming Batman is because of that moment of powerlessness he experienced while he was unable to prevent his parents's deaths. One of the things he decides is to learn to fight. He has a strong desire to stop bad things from happening ever again. What his specific qualifications are in terms of deciding right from wrong are unknown. He's a boy who is bullied briefly and seeks ...

Last night, my play was one of the ones that was read in front of an audience. When I wrote it, I hoped at least one person would get something from it. I thought there would be one question about my friend, since I wrote it in memory of her. As I watched it performed, I felt like I was giving a presentation only the actors were speaking my words and I was unable to have any control over how things went. What I never expected was an audience that had many people that wanted to talk about it. I was both happy about and absolutely mortified by this. There is nothing that feels more vulnerable than talking about your art. Inside, I was pretty much wanting to run away. For weeks before this, I'd think about what to say to any questions and I'd cry. I was worried about that. I kept it together though. Somehow. I think that may have been because stage lights were blinding me and perhaps I went into the automatic mode from my old acting days? My friend who came said I didn't look ...

Why are we obsessed with Superheroes and the idea of being super human? I think that part of it is because we think we could do all the things we currently can't. There are goals that are often out of my reach simply because my quads aren't strong enough yet or there isn't enough time in the day. If I was fast like The Flash, I could achieve all my goals faster. That doesn't mean it would be better though. Some things would be. I could travel much more quickly than the stinky and undependable bus. Part of this condo thing for me is a chance to go through everything I own and decide what needs to stay in my life. That's the kind of thing that being super fast physically can't help me with. I'd like having my condo all painted. It would certainly be better to be done, but painting too fast sends drops of paint places that I don't want them to be as I've learned the hard way. If I was super like a vampire, I wouldn't have to worry about food as much...

I made, what I think, is some real progress this week with my guitar. For whatever reason, I was able to push passed where I've been plateaued for awhile now. It was like I could ignore the fact that I couldn't keep up fully with the speed of the song and instead of that upsetting me, I just tried harder. I'm learning Green Day's Good Riddance (The Time of Your Life). We learned it in guitar class in high school, but I doubt we were playing it at full speed because it was pretty fast to play along with the YouTube video. Even though I kept messing up and it probably sucked, I had fun and felt like I'm on the way to improving. And that's how life's river flows today. R~ Psst... If you're in Ottawa and looking for something to do this Monday, March 26, 2018, one of my plays is being read by actors for a fund raiser. Some of my classmate's plays will be read too. It's all happening at 6pm at Algonquin College in room N112. The cost is $5. There will...

As cannabis legalization slowly inches forward , I thought you could use a post that highlights some things to expect once it's here. Disclaimer: I'm not an expert, nor am I giving medical advice. 1. Home Design: You may experience sudden urges to rearrange your living space. 2. Food Innovation: An inherited skill where you make the most amazing and unexpected fusions. 3. Dinner Parties: A unique multi-course dining experience. 4. Increased Libido: It's the closest thing to a woman's Viagra. 5. The Munchies: Sometimes you might not even be hungry, but you want to feel something crunch against your teeth. 6. Reduced Inflammation: It's a natural anti-inflammatory. 7. Higher Patience: You'll be able to stay calm when an asshole is talking to you. 8. Time Distortion: You may have periods where you ran through whole scenarios in your head and thought you must've been gone for an hour when it's only been 5 minutes. 9. Focus! Oooo, shiny...: You'll either h...

This week, Erik Karlsson of the Ottawa Senators and his wife Melinda are going through the pain of miscarriage. Miscarriage isn't something people often speak of. It's unpleasant.. Its most common recommended course of action is to try again as if you lost Roll Up the Rim. This pain is something I know first hand. In 2011, it happened to me. I wasn't as far along as some, but we were nearly out of the danger period where miscarriage has a higher likelihood. We were almost ready to tell everyone the good news. For me, the physical pain was not unlike menstrual cramping. It was the emotional pain that I couldn't deal with. I think we stopped by a Pizza Hut on the way home from the hospital for food? I only remember the bathroom stall. It's been nearly six and a half years and I am only finding the words now to talk about it. Sometimes in pregnancy, a mom won't know she's pregnant. Sometimes they know right away. Sometimes it's very gradual. For me, it was ...

[caption id="attachment_11040" align="alignright" width="300"] Image created using Bitmoji[/caption] It's a tough week for me. A week filled with nerve-wracking things like pitching my TV show and my film, while also having actors read through my play for the fund-raiser. Yesterday, we pitched our TV shows. Mine went well and the panel really liked the idea of it. Last night, my 10-minute play was read by actors. I noticed some problems with it that I'll need to fix before I submit it to any contests, but what an experience! The woman casted as my hockey mom character was bang on! And it was just a cold read through, which means she hadn't ever seen the script before. I can't wait to see what she does between now and rehearsal and then the reading on Monday! The others were great too, but I really felt that she brought it off the page the most. Oh, my teacher's husband was awesome too. He's a professional voice actor and has one of...

I finally remember what I wanted to post about the other week. And this week's theme is soul, so it's the perfect time to discuss this. For a novelist, genre is of key importance. Indeed, it seems you must choose one main genre such as Romance or Horror and forget about writing a children's book unless you use a pen name for something else you'd like to do. This limitation harkens back to putting your books on a shelf. It's all about branding yourself as a novelist. But I'm a free spirit and I don't want to write a specific genre. This is what I love about screen writing. If I feel like writing a horror today and a romantic comedy tomorrow, I can. Now, I mostly write horror, fantasy, and sci-fi anyway, but every now and then I get an idea for a kid's TV show, an action movie, a thriller, a sports story, or a historical fiction piece and I want to be able to write it all. My plays tend to be more dramatic works that have a specific goal beyond entertainin...

I finished the bulk of my first screenplay this weekend. Unfortunately, it's falling short of the range of pages it should be in. Fortunately, I have ideas to fix that problem. One idea came from going out to a friend's photography exhibition on Friday. We talked a bit about my movie and my friends suggested something to add; a pet. I really liked the specific idea they had, but it will also help me make my opening scene better while reinforcing the theme. The other idea came from one of my teachers. I couldn't see the importance of getting more specific about my one character, but now I see showing more of him will not only give me the pages I need, but I can use his scenes to somewhat mirror what my protagonist is going through and foreshadow things to come. I'm excited to write the next pieces of my feature! I had a meeting today that might lead to some writing work for me. It was a great meeting and I'm looking forward to the possibility of working with the pers...

There is a lot to check when playing a song. I think those of us who learned to play music first through sheet music spend more time checking things like tempo, tone (brightly), key, and rhythm. All musicians will check things like whether or not their instrument is in tune. Some people learn to hear this and don't need to use electronic tuners. It's worth regularly checking my instruments and gear to ensure they're in good condition and especially with electronics, that they are safe to play. I don't want to discover that my cable is frayed and I've caused myself serious harm. All this checking seems like a lot of work at first, but in little to no time, it becomes habit. I meant to post this yesterday, of course, but I was feeling burnt out. And that's how life's river flows today. R~

[caption id="attachment_10523" align="alignright" width="300"] Image created using Bitmoji[/caption] So, this week, I started a new thing on my blog where all my posts look at the same word from different perspectives. It was check . Today, I'm looking at it from my usual Friday view. I think it can be helpful to check where you are occasionally in the romantic sense. For example, for me right now, I know that I'm somewhat interested in a couple of men, but we're all busy people and so if we go out, it's all very casual. I know I'm graduating soon and don't really know what happens after that, so I haven't wanted to get too close to anyone. I'm hoping to stay in Ottawa, but it's possible I'll have to consider moving and while long distance could be okay with the right person, I know I can't currently promise anything and don't want to unnecessarily hurt anyone. Do you know what your current wants and needs a...

I have had an amazing week and I'm immensely thankful for so many things! It's been such a long time since I truly felt valued between job loss, non-supportive people, and false friends. This week, I received a letter from school saying I had made the Dean's Honour List for last semester. I have some potential job leads too, but that's not all! I got a bursary and might be getting another one. My insurance company reimbursed me for a payment. I also got a couple dollars in royalties! I worked on the set for Blind at 17, a TV movie, last weekend and met some really wonderful people. It was my first time on a set! I briefly got to talk to one of the actors, who I was in a high school production of Jesus Christ Superstar with 21 years ago. Now, some of this is stuff I've worked hard for like the Dean's List. I've worked hard on my projects all year, even during the strike. I applied for bursaries last semester and was rejected, but this semester they say I'...

[caption id="attachment_11040" align="alignright" width="300"] Image created using Bitmoji[/caption] Awww, I really thought I had posted this. I guess you're getting more than one post in quick succession. One of the things I've learned as a martial artist is how to quickly read a situation. This ability to check over a swath of elements in a heartbeat bleeds into other areas of my life. In the summer, a friend's bush caught on fire. Before one of the other guests had even finished what she was saying, I leapt up, grabbed my water bottle, and put the fire out. Instantly, I knew there was a fire and I glanced briefly around for anything with water in it. I didn't think, I just reacted with an appropriate response. That automatic and appropriate action is something we attempt to train in the dojo. Some people get there slower than others, but most eventually are better than the average person at parsing through a bunch of data and taking act...

There are a lot of checks that go into making a movie. There is so much checking actually that each job is often broken down among several people. Assistant Directing, for example, has a First who is on set with the director and they do things like watch how it shows on screen and they also tell everyone over radio to be quiet or that we're moving on from a scene. The Second one makes call sheets and other paper work. The Third one travels with the actors and relays when they leave or reach a destination. A lot of people check on the actors from every department. Some check if they're hungry or thirsty. We checked if they had dry socks, if they needed Hot Paws to warm their hands or feet up, or that they were wearing their clothes properly. When I wasn't working in wardrobe, doing things like taking pictures of outfits or making the department binder, which is basically a check list of the items an actor/actress wears on a given day. By day, I mean script day, not necessari...

I'm sorry I dropped off the blog-o-sphere at the end of last week. I couldn't think of what to write on Friday and had to go to bed around 8 pm, which is about 4-5 hours too early for me. Why did I have to go to bed so early? I had a call time to be on a movie set for 6:00 am, which meant that in order to get there on time, I had to wake up at 4:30 am. I've rarely ever been awake for that time. Indeed, I've seen it so rarely that it could have been a figment of my imagination the other times. The set work was very cool and I'll talk more about it tomorrow. I did get to work with some very awesome people, some of whom were from L. A. Maybe I'll see them again sometime. I did everything I was assigned and helped out other departments when I wasn't needed in my own. I worked 13 hours the first day and 7 the second. I was originally supposed to work more, but I was no longer covered for insurance because I got the amount of hours I need to graduate. I spent a lo...

It can be hard in our busy lives to make time to be grateful. It's in our best interests to slow down enough to do so because it helps you manage things like stress. And there's tons to be stressed about in this world all the time. Today is one of those days where it's hard for me to feel thankful about anything. I'm staying home to hopefully get over this cold and not pass it around the class. I was up late last night sneezing and blowing my raw nose. Ever notice how a runny nose starts to feel like lava on your skin? Yeah, that was me last night. I really want my house to be nice. That's part of the reason I've been painting it and gathering up anything I can sell. Progress on this is going so slowly it's maddening. I'm having one of those days. I seriously just wanted to write a letter to a friend with her extremely late Christmas card. Then I barely touch the table I'm writing on and my cup of cranberry juice spills all over me, my beige thin cor...

[caption id="attachment_11040" align="alignright" width="300"] Image created using Bitmoji[/caption] It's a strange time. A time where some of us may be ultra vigilant. This afternoon, there was a young man on the bus. His clothes were tattered. He was mouthing words to himself, occasionally smiling, other times seeming as if praying, and once in awhile whistling like a bird. I felt concerned. I couldn't help but think, "Is he planning to do something harmful?" I felt relieved when he got off before the school. Then I realized it's so easy to get caught up in our emotions. I mean, I was convinced this dude had a bomb on him or something. But he didn't. There are so many times we can see something and mistake it. His clothes? Well, he also had a hard hat with him that I didn't initially notice, so he probably has the kind of job that is hard on clothes. The mouthing to himself? Well, perhaps he was practicing what he was going...

I keep thinking about and forgetting a topic I want to talk about on Tuesday. I've been doing it for several weeks now and it's so annoying! It feels as though the thoughts have been shoved behind a barrier in my mind that I can't see, but only feel is there. Having a cold has given me time to slow down and refocus some of my energy. I've found Facebook more annoying than usual and logged out for the day. I'm exploring other options for connecting with like-minded people whose goals align with my own. I started today out extremely frustrated and am ending it in the opposite state. The first draft of my one act play has been written and was submitted yesterday. It's an office-based melodrama that touches on a number of societal ills and uses office noises in a musical way. I'm pretty psyched about it! It's not as long as my teacher wanted, but there will be a couple more times during the semester to add to it and make it better. Sometimes it's not abo...

Right now, I feel as if most parts of my life are progressing ever so slowly. Reno My entranceway is basically complete. There's a tiny bit of trim left under the door that I'll do while working on the hallway. The hallway is mostly done except the trim and doors. I need to remove the hardware and change or repair the thin drop sheet. The living room hasn't been started really. One wall has to be stripped, but I haven't ever done that, so I need to watch some videos or something. There is stuff all over, so I've been gradually moving it around to make it possible to start painting parts. But I scratched the floor some when I moved a bookcase and I'm upset about it. I also need to take my TV off the wall for probably at least 18 hours, so it'll have to be somewhere during that time. I saw a cockroach after moving one of my bookshelves. They like clean places apparently and love bookshelves, so I had to get some "food" for them. Reasons to digitize e...

I haven't been doing anywhere near as much as I'd like with music lately because my home is rather upside down while I paint. I'm really frustrated right now though. I've been trying to learn to speak French for about 30 years now. Every course I take is the same thing. It always ignores how humans actually learn to speak their first language and they instead sit you at a desk and get you to write out and conjugate verbs. This is a big problem for a few reasons. I need at least a part time job and most in Ottawa require at least the ability to speak French. Or they'd really prefer it, which means if it's you or someone who can who are competing for the same job, you're S. O. L. The thing is, people learn their first language mainly by hearing others speak it. There's about 4 years plus the 9 months in the womb where they just listen, mimic, and finally start putting words together. So what am I doing about this? Well, I'm exploring a new way. I might...

[caption id="attachment_10523" align="alignright" width="300"] Image created using Bitmoji[/caption] Whether it's your first time having sex ever or your first time with a new person, it's often not the best experience. People get performance anxiety. We see that a lot in things like presentations at school or in martial arts gradings. I've seen people lose their place while presenting and become unable to find it again. I've seen people make a mistake during a grading and become so flustered they start over and skip a kata entirely to try to fix the time issue caused by starting over and have a complete meltdown. This totally happens with sex too. Maybe you go too early like Jim in American Pie. Maybe you just can't figure out how the hell to get the bra off*. I feel like people build sex out to be this massive thing like a quest for The Holy Grail when it's really the most natural thing. What I've found is that the first time...