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Struggles

Some days I wonder why I try anything at all. So many of my days are a struggle to do things that I think shouldn't be difficult. I got a little cart on the weekend and some storage bins to get items that I need to keep off of the floor. The design to put the cart together was ridiculous, so I kept having to flip it around to make it happen. And during that, my glass of lemonade fell and broke, because I really needed that on top of the rest. There are days I feel like there is far too much bullshit in my day-to-day and I'm so sick from fighting to get back what I've lost. And most of the time I let this all roll over my shoulders without too much fuss, but on Sunday I was just feeling really fucking done with the stupidity of it all. Despite all of that, I had an OK week. I relaunched my Twitch after rebranding to match my website. My overlay is now a cute pastel goth design, which I love. I finished watching Orange is the New Black. I moved closer to having a reading nook
Recent posts

The Hardest Part of Creating...

... has almost nothing to do with creating. It's all the basic life skills and activities like food. Seriously. Remembering to eat when you're in the zone is nigh impossible. And when you come out of the zone, you're dizzy and starving, which isn't the best state to be in when trying to cook a healthy meal. Usually, I can cobble something together from whatever is around the condo anyway, but sometimes it's a mishmash. Saturday was leftover turkey meatballs, frozen corn, eggs, some bell pepper, and diet pepsi. I was just about in dire need of groceries though. But this happens with most chores and me. Creating takes a lot of energy and with no one to help split up the workload at home, I'm nearly always behind. So far behind that I wonder whether or not I'll ever catch up enough to want another human to even see my home. It doesn't help that I'm a spoonie or that I grew up with a mom who often avoided chores by escaping into a romance novel or a tele

Lost Ark and Guild Wars 2

They've done a number of things in Lost Ark that have made the game not fun for me to play anymore. I reached a point where I couldn't progress in the quest lines without having gold coins that pretty much need to be purchased with real money. Another issue for me was reaching a decently high level alone to be suddenly forced into grouping with other people in order to progress. I'm not into raiding and shit like that these days, so this also pissed me off. They also forced a respec on me and I was quite happy with how I had been specced, so the last thing I wanted to deal with was a surprise respec, which made it so I could do pretty much nothing on stream. So I've reclaimed nearly 80GB of space on my computer that I can use for several other games that I've been wanting to get to. Which brings me to my next large game. Assuming I can add it to OBS Studio without issues, I'm going to play A Plague Tale: Innocence. Depending on how much I enjoy it, I may actuall

September: Basically Fall

There is some disagreement online about whether or not September is fall or summer because technically the Autumnal Equinox is two-thirds of the way through the month and not at the beginning. Here's the thing though, it's cooling down rapidly up here on the 49th parallel. We're having many days of fall-like weather with the odd summer-like day in between.  Really, September is the transition between summer and fall, so if people want to get into their pumpkin spice and spooky decor early, I don't see the fuss. How about we let people love the things they love? I've always enjoyed this time of the year. I find summer is often too warm to focus on goals. As such, I spend it enjoying patio weather and drinks with friends because anything else has me constantly searching for a place to keep cool. But September? This is the time of year for cuddles, scary movies*, harvests, and renewal. Also, the bugs and pollen are largely going away, so for people like me who suffer a

2022 Capital Pride Recovery

I'm so very glad that I booked the day after Pride off. I was feeling quite rough after the lack of sleep in the days preceding. One lesson I learned was not to get drunk the day before. That may be easier said than done as I wanted to celebrate with a friend who is also 2SLGBTQI+. I've used this short form as apparently this is the new inclusive acronym going forward in Canada. I'm not sure who worked on this, but they seem to have forgotten about all those on the asexual spectrum. I guess they get to be in the +? I didn't drink much the evening of Pride after starting the day out a bit dehydrated. Also, I wanted to be able to get moving on my goals on my day off, which included cleaning in my condo and putting together my rowing machine. Unboxing was easy, but then it looked like the following and I needed to wake up a bit more before figuring out what to do next with it. Thankfully, it was Danielle Allard's birthday stream on Twitch, so I could enjoy

2022 Ottawa Pride Week

Overall, Pride was fantastic. On Friday, I found out this woman I've had a crush on for months now is gay too! And of course I'm silly and didn't ask her out because she was at work... I have some friends who are very serious about their work/home life separation, so that was part of why. Maybe there was a little voice in my head reminding me that it doesn't mean she's into me. Thanks little voice. Saturday brought my first ever live drag show. There were some acts with a lot of production value. They were doing things one might see at a pop concert. One of my favourites was Pythia, who did this three-breasted alien bit. There was another who did this puppet breaking away from its strings story, which I also thoroughly enjoyed. Ben Dover had some really hot back up dancers. One of my lingering questions is, "What workout program do drag queens do?" Because damn they were fit! There were parts on Sunday that weren't fun, like the standing around and wai

Pride Week Has Begun!

I'm really amped up this week. It's Pride Week in Ottawa! On Monday, I went to see But I'm A Cheerleader with a friend and it was an excellent way to begin Pride Week. It's a campy film about conversion therapy, which has RuPaul in the cast.  Tuesday was partially spent on ironing/steaming flags for Pride. I'm not done with that and will be continuing tonight after I get some groceries.  I've also been getting back into planning. I realized I stopped partly because my little Clever Fox wasn't really fitting my needs anymore. For 2023, I'll be going back to my A5 and I'm setting it up differently than I have in the past. I'm working with a friend who is setting up an Etsy for planner sheets. It's going to have daily sheets, which are on order and should be arriving on September 1st. I also got the monthly Filofax for 2023, which will be coming on the weekend. Also coming on the weekend are blank sheets for drawing. I've been carrying arou