Merry Monday: Obstacles and Choices

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I'm not a stranger to people not wanting to take a chance on me. My mother had a heart attack after having boy number two and the doctors recommended she abort me as they felt it too risky to go through with the pregnancy. She told them no because she was sure I was her little girl she'd been wanting.

When I started school no one wanted to play with me. No one wanted to share toys either, so I went to the books and read to myself.

I didn't have much in the way of friends until high school. I was bullied. I was also petite and not athletic, so I wasn't wanted in gym class. I couldn't understand why points mattered. They didn't translate to marks after all.

I wasn't quick to make friends in high school. The kids who gave me a chance were the oddballs. I found myself in theatre, choir, and band. I also got involved in various committees and helped plan events. I plan things for a living now.

After college, I had trouble getting a job. Despite doing a good job at a work placement, the Catholic school board didn't want to take a chance on hiring me, a non-Catholic. It was a while before I landed a job.

But I never let obstacles stop me. I recognized that I was pretty horrible at the interview, if I got that far, and signed up for a government-funded course on resumes and interviews. I then landed a job on the corrections help desk.

The job following that, they only gave me the access I needed once my colleague couldn't be there and things got into a bad state. They didn't want to take a chance that I had the skills despite education, certification, and experience.

I chose to go back to school to upgrade because I was tired of terrible managers. That resulted in a job before graduating. A telecom company gave me a chance and I did good work until the government divested them.

I took a chance and decided to leave the stressful environment, despite how much it was like a family, then landed a job in Ottawa. The day job is going well and I enjoy the people there.

This week is starting less than great. Some of the things bugging me are minor. Small things are combining all at once into a ball of frustration.

1. I'm trying to sell a guitar the ex-husband gave me because it reminds me of the past and because I want a 3/4 size since I'm 3/4 sized, but the neck is twisted and repairing that would cost more than buying a new guitar. It's more twisted than a truss rod adjustment will fix.


2. A benefits claim was only partially paid out despite 100% coverage. Their note suggests naturopathic claims are not reasonable, despite 100% coverage and that it was well under my yearly allotment for naturopathic coverage.


3. Somehow my bank and condo got out of sync and I got an NSF charge. More money spent for no reason.


4. I might be falling behind on NaNoWriMo and I'm really wanting to finish my editing this month.


5. I tried to install Magic Duels on the weekend on Steam to improve my skill. The play button is there and it's free. Problem is, I can't add it to my library, so I can't play it. Was just another frustrating thing.


6. It's so hard to find that person that gets me. I want someone to share my life with.


7. My finances are a little tighter than I'd like. My own fault for buying a little more than I should have off Amazon.

So I'm choosing to focus on what is in my realm of control and what I can bring into my realm of control. Everything else is not worth stressing over.

1. On the guitar, my action plan is first to try and sell it for parts. Next, see if the guitar shop will give me anything at all for it in trade, even $5, it'd be more than I can get anywhere else. Option 3 is to donate it to get it out of my life. My plan for buying the one I want is delayed now, but I have an acoustic and I should be writing anyway ;)


2. I shouldn't have to appeal this, but if I want to get the cash, I'll have to jump through hoops. Really, they'll probably lose more on my appeals than it would cost to just pay my claim.


3. This has happened a few times now. The best course of action may be to either change the account it comes out of to the one with overdraft protection, or stop automatic payments.


4. I guess I need to get my butt in gear. I took some time off this weekend to catch a breather and do some long overdue cleaning. I made my writing nook much easier to get into.


5. I logged a support request. I should be writing anyway ;)


6. Well, I bought 3 Paint Nite sessions. Maybe I'll meet someone there? I'm also on Happn, but nothing has come of it yet. I hated OK Cupid and Plenty of Fish. Otherwise, I'm not great at opening up and getting to know others, but I'm trying to get better at it. Maybe I should hang out in the fantasy section at chapters or in the library (where books are free).


7. Instead of buying my guitar, I'm paying off my debt. The family will be giving me money in a couple of months for my birthday anyway.

Perhaps not the merriest of Merry Mondays, but I'm trying. And one of my afternoon meetings got moved later in the week, so that's a happy thing :)

Ciao,
R~