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No Sense is (Non)sense

No in French is non and it got me wondering about the word nonsense for a moment, but not enough to deep dive on it. It's probably because Latin anyway.

Have you ever had one of those days where you want to say everything and you also want to say nothing?

Maybe you have a secret. It could be about something private, or a deal that isn't solidified, or it could even be that saying it out loud might make you look disturbed or like an asshole.

I have days like this and I think some of it is the imposter syndrome monster nagging me because not having published any of my novels yet makes me feel like I'm not a real writer.

By the time I publish Sparks, I wonder if anyone will even want to read it. 

It has been through a lot over the years. Point of view changes, setting changes, time changes, and sensitivity changes are among those. 

Because I aim to eventually have ties to my other novels, I've had a lot of thinking to do that I didn't initially plan to have to do.

Writing is a journey that sometimes feels like nonsense.

Especially that first edit of draft one. 

I had to find sense in a pile of nonsense.

As I'm somewhere around draft 7 or 8 now, I wonder if I'm being too particular, but I know that I need to smooth out chapters for continuity and finish the current round of changes before I can have an editor look at it or they will tell me to do just that.

Then there will undoubtedly be some corrections before it can exist in the wide world.

Part of me wants to be there already and part of me is terrified of what comes next.

I guess that is writing.


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