Skip to main content

Frisky Friday - Sexual Freedom

[caption id="attachment_10523" align="alignright" width="300"]Screenshot_20170515-132753 Image created using Bitmoji[/caption]

You don't have to head off to a hedonist resort to feel sexually free. For some, a resort may be paradise and for others it may be terrifying.

Sexual freedom to me means feeling good in your own skin and being focused on having fun with someone instead of worrying about something like whether or not your legs are perfectly shaved or if your partner will think badly of you if you want them to explore options like fuzzy handcuffs or whipped cream.

It can take time to be comfortable like that and some people never get there.

So many marriages end because one partner felt they couldn't talk to the other about trying new things. And I don't think that is limited to sex. If you're fighting over which garbage can to purchase, can you feel comfortable discussing heavier topics like depression? Like sexual fantasies?

Let's face it, there are a lot of things we talk about with our significant others that shouldn't make us feel vulnerable like what colour to paint the kitchen. But for some even those discussions are painful and can leave one feeling like their very character is being attacked over liking chartreuse.

If talking about the small things sets you on edge, it's going to take a stupendous amount of courage to open up about your wants and needs in the bedroom.

One of the things I strongly dislike is this idea some suggest that sex isn't that important. It's fundamentally wrong. One of the top 10 reasons marriages fail is sexual mismatch leading to infidelity. Healthy romantic relationships include regular sex. How regular depends on what works for you and your partner. One couple's regular may be multiple times a day. Another couple's may be weekly. And it's nuanced. Your partner's drive is probably not exactly the same as yours. The problems come when they are as wide apart as the two sides of the Grand Canyon.

Sex is supposed to be fun. You should feel good about it. You shouldn't feel like you need to know if others are having more or less than you. That can only bring anxiety and not freedom.

It's important to note that living within who you feel you are is key to sexual freedom. Whether that means you have different sexual preferences or fetishes, ensure both you and your partner are both on board with whatever you decide to do during play time.

It's also crucial that other people mind their own business if it involves two or more consensual adults and they aren't doing anything illegal. Go work on your own sex life rather than nosing around someone else's.

For some, things like outdoor romps may be the thing that makes them feel the freest ;)

R~

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Gauntlet That Was October

I had a lot of things happen in October. I watched Frankenstein in the cemetery with friends. I had tea with a friend. I started a new sport: curling. This is really fun and I'm enjoying the level of activity it provides and all the strategic elements. I'll do a separate post on it soon. Unfortunately, soon after my first game, I came down with Covid and so did the friend who I had tea with, so I think we both caught it at the place we went to. That wasn't fun. I already posted about that. I was fortunate to be free of it in time to attend Can-Con where I took in lots of panels, saw some of the wonderful writer community, bought many new books, and volunteered to help out in the rooms. The following weekend, I went to the livestream for Danielle Allard's new album release, followed by the in person release. As part of this, she has a 6 video series that releases every Sunday on her YouTube at 1:15 PM EDT. Video number 2, Falling Into Place, is one that I feel fortunate

December 2023 Holidays

The drive to North Bay was pretty smooth until I was 30 minutes away and ran out of windshield washer fluid. That was the first time that ever happened to me. Luckily, about 10-15 minutes later, there was one last gas station where I could fix that. Since it's my busy season, I worked the mornings and took the afternoons and evenings to spend with family and friends. My brother stopped by with a special gift, a new ornament for the tree. My mom loved ceramic Christmas trees, so it's a perfect way to keep her with us at Christmas. His friend, Fawn, helped him get it made. She has a YouTube channel you can check out here: https://youtube.com/@thethriftyfawn After that, I visited friends in the slightly rural part of Callander, Ontario. We were having a lovely time catching up and then the evening had a surprise in store. Someone in the area had hit a small deer with their vehicle. My friend's dad skinned and gutted it in around -20C (due to the windchill) weather.

Under Siege

My city is under attack. I wish I was being facetious.  The so-called "freedom" convoy is here and so far this is what has transpired: 1. They parked on the war memorial. These people who call themselves patriots. This is where the Unknown Soldier rests. This is where Corporal Nathan Cirullo lost his life in October of 2014. The cars were towed, but who knows what actual repercussions they will face. 2. Later, when asked to move away from memorial, one stood and jumped on the tomb itself while others cheered.  3. Despite having port-a-potties provided for by the mayor, they've been defecating on Parliament Hill, in snowbanks, and on streets nearby.  4. Flags being flown include the Confederate flag of the United States, Trump flags, the Quebec equivalent to the Confederate flag, upside down Canada flags, regular Canada flags, Fuck Trudeau flags, libertarian flags, and ones adorned with swastikas. Yeah, this is totally about freedom rather than racism, white su