Skip to main content

Warrior Wednesday - Fighting Oneself

[caption id="attachment_11040" align="alignright" width="300"]sword Image created using Bitmoji[/caption]

Sometimes we have to fight ourselves. Actually, I find fighting myself to be the most difficult thing I do on a regular basis.

I wouldn't say I'm lazy, but I like relaxing in the comfort of my home. If given the choice to stay home or go out, I'll often choose to stay home. There are so many benefits. I get to sit around in comfy pants, the liquor is way cheaper, I am as warm or as cool as I decide to be, I know how to feed myself and that's cheaper too, and so on. I'm mostly perfectly happy practically becoming a hermit in the winter.

Except I like to get out once in awhile to  ice skate because it's the one winter thing I love. Snowboarding was fun at one time, but it's too dangerous with my neck. I have snowshoes, but they feel like a lot of work. Of course, that could've been because I was rather hungover the last time I tried them, but I'm not a super athletic person anyway.

I'd rather geek out with some video games or cocoon in a blanket while watching a movie.

But I've also been at war in my own home. As a creative person, I regularly get behind in things like dishes. Well, this week I've mostly caught up! I'm feeling pretty good about that. It usually gets a little better after Christmas too.

I have more cleaning to do, but I've started making some progress and it feels good. One of the things I've done that I'm finding helpful is doing things in smaller chunks. Maybe I only have 10 minutes and I'll wash the top row of the door inside my fridge. I haven't got the whole fridge done yet, but doing a little bit here and there has been working better for me than how my mom has always done it. She'd have me help her clean the whole thing in one day and it took so much time that we'd rarely do it.

Another thing I'm fighting is with my writing. I really like to do a project and move onto the next. We can't do that. We do a draft. Then another. Then another. And sometimes another. I'm looking forward to being done the semester just to work on different things!

It's funny. When I was signing up for the program, I thought that doing a TV episode, a couple of plays, a short film, and a movie was a small amount of writing. Then I learned that most screenwriters get maybe 1-2 things written in a year outside of their day jobs. Now I see why. It's a lot more work than I thought!

I'm loving it though.

I feel like I've finally found that thing that is my thing. Yeah, I'm capable of doing other things to survive, but this feels different. Even when I'm exhausted, I'm excited about it.

I was drawn to theatre at a young age, but there weren't enough people in my grade school into it, so the first play I was going to be part of got canned. Someone convinced me to come out to drama club in grade 9 and despite my shyness, I loved it. The people were nice and didn't make fun of me for being bad at things like volleyball. The boys found me cute, so I dated a few of them. I had a lot of fun in those days.

But then I lost myself for a time.

I've found my way back to the path I originally set out on, but was told it couldn't go anywhere.

Well, we'll just see about that, won't we?

I'm pretty damned stubborn and I want this like I've never wanted anything before.

Guid cheerio the nou,
R~

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Lot of Bullspit - 2020 ROW80 R3-W5

This week has had a lot of bullspit in it. Shortly after my last trip to buy reno supplies, I discovered mold in my bathroom. While that's not shocking, it's pretty much because they appear to have left wet drywall in the wall and covered the wall with another layer of drywall instead of properly repairing it after a leak. Geniuses. This is a mixed bag. It means I may have to do the tub area sooner than I expected. It is the same wall as the annoying peeling paint, so that's kind of good. I may just need to replace much of the wall, which is about 1.5 drywall boards because it's a small room. Cost wise, the wall repair isn't so bad. I'm not looking forward to having to deal with it, but I acquired the PPE gear for it and the mold removal supplies. Now, here's where the project may change substantially. I was originally planning to install a tub surround over the tile and then use the Rust Oleum tub restore stuff, but if there is mold in the wall, it's li

ROW80 2020 R4 - GOALS

I've gotten zero writing done recently, however, I had other pressing things.  HOME As my new bed frame was due for arrival last Friday (more on this later), I hauled ass and purged a bunch more stuff from my home. I brought a full carload to donation and started loading up again. I also dealt with my old mattress, which I'm repurposing for a couch. Now, I didn't fully complete it as I haven't figured out all the pieces, but I did get it cut up appropriately and moved out of my bedroom. I'm currently sewing it back together. As for my bedroom, I was able to do a major declutter and access areas I haven't been able to in months. But that area now has bathroom stuff in it. There is more to do, but I'm really happy with my progress of late. I've cut myself numerous times on the couch project including my heel finding a tiny piece of glass, my palm finding a wayward staple, my knuckle finding who knows what, my one thumb having a run in with a box cutter, an

Catching My Breath - 2020 ROW80 R3-C6

 I've tried writing this post numerous times, but I needed a break. A long one. I've been mega stressed out and depressed, so I have been taking a little breather. I was feeling broken, but the experience has forced me to slow down and relax. I've gotten some help including medication for it and I am feeling much better. I'm feeling like myself more with each passing day. I'm sleeping better and have energy again.  I have been reducing my social media time. Especially Facebook. Actually, I enjoy Instagram much more. FITNESS I've been scooting and I'm getting back into skating. It's often hard to get out because of rain. Eventually, I want to do tricks on my skates. This skater may not be in derby anymore, but she's still a skater ;) I have a ton of plans for cross training once winter is here. I'll be hitting up outdoor rinks if they are available, but I'm also going to work on off skate skills that will help me get to doing tricks later on.