Skip to main content

Love and a cough cannot be hid

This saying has been attributed to George Herbert.

What does it mean? I think most people can intuitively understand that coughing, no matter how quiet, is still noticed. Unrequited love is romanticized.

What I think is more interesting than the saying itself is that we try to hide these things at all. Coughing is a natural body function. Yes it can be damned irritating in an office environment, but the cough is usually trying to clean your body of bad stuff. Instead of letting the coughing happen, we try to suppress it, which may actually make the cough stick around longer. Sometimes a cough does need to be tamed slightly though as it can lead to hurting other areas of the body if it's particularly vicious.

What about love? Why do spend so much time hiding our feelings for another person? What if, instead of thinking things like that the person may not feel the same way or inventing reasons why we aren't good enough, we just said something like 'I like you' or 'I want to do this thing with you' or 'You're cute' or really anything? Sure, they might not feel the same way. You envision things will be this magical fairytale-like event and s/he rejects you. Your happily-ever-after doesn't happen... yet. This is far from the end of the world! It might feel like it is, but it actually frees you to find someone that truly gets you and all your quirks! Or they might feel the same and all kinds of good stuff can happen, but you get scared about what's supposed to happen next. If that's the case, stop thinking so far ahead and live in the moment. Nothing specific is supposed to happen at any point in a relationship, in my opinion, and life experience has taught me that it's horrible to live life like that. There's enough of life that is dictated for us, so why force other things? Stop doing stuff because everyone else is (especially life-altering things like deciding to have a baby). Do things when the time feels right. But also, stop hiding everything about yourself because that person that digs you needs to see you to find you.

I think I got off on a tangent. You can't really hide how you feel about someone. Even if you aren't doing anything about it they can tell you're into them, but you're coming off as unconfident. Confidence can be really sexy, and the opposite isn't. You want them to want you, so be you and own it. Besides, you probably blather on about how amazing they are to everyone you know except them, so it's obvious to everyone you're into them. You act extra nice or maybe try to speak more intelligently around them and you probably come off as fake or cold. Or worse, they might think you have some dastardly ulterior motive. Just breathe and be your normal self around them.

But I know if you tell them how you feel things may get so awkward you'll lose them as a friend. Ask yourself why you want a friend in your life that is so easy to lose?

Ciao,
R~

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Under Siege

My city is under attack. I wish I was being facetious.  The so-called "freedom" convoy is here and so far this is what has transpired: 1. They parked on the war memorial. These people who call themselves patriots. This is where the Unknown Soldier rests. This is where Corporal Nathan Cirullo lost his life in October of 2014. The cars were towed, but who knows what actual repercussions they will face. 2. Later, when asked to move away from memorial, one stood and jumped on the tomb itself while others cheered.  3. Despite having port-a-potties provided for by the mayor, they've been defecating on Parliament Hill, in snowbanks, and on streets nearby.  4. Flags being flown include the Confederate flag of the United States, Trump flags, the Quebec equivalent to the Confederate flag, upside down Canada flags, regular Canada flags, Fuck Trudeau flags, libertarian flags, and ones adorned with swastikas. Yeah, this is totally about freedom rather than racism, white su

The Gauntlet That Was October

I had a lot of things happen in October. I watched Frankenstein in the cemetery with friends. I had tea with a friend. I started a new sport: curling. This is really fun and I'm enjoying the level of activity it provides and all the strategic elements. I'll do a separate post on it soon. Unfortunately, soon after my first game, I came down with Covid and so did the friend who I had tea with, so I think we both caught it at the place we went to. That wasn't fun. I already posted about that. I was fortunate to be free of it in time to attend Can-Con where I took in lots of panels, saw some of the wonderful writer community, bought many new books, and volunteered to help out in the rooms. The following weekend, I went to the livestream for Danielle Allard's new album release, followed by the in person release. As part of this, she has a 6 video series that releases every Sunday on her YouTube at 1:15 PM EDT. Video number 2, Falling Into Place, is one that I feel fortunate

December 2023 Holidays

The drive to North Bay was pretty smooth until I was 30 minutes away and ran out of windshield washer fluid. That was the first time that ever happened to me. Luckily, about 10-15 minutes later, there was one last gas station where I could fix that. Since it's my busy season, I worked the mornings and took the afternoons and evenings to spend with family and friends. My brother stopped by with a special gift, a new ornament for the tree. My mom loved ceramic Christmas trees, so it's a perfect way to keep her with us at Christmas. His friend, Fawn, helped him get it made. She has a YouTube channel you can check out here: https://youtube.com/@thethriftyfawn After that, I visited friends in the slightly rural part of Callander, Ontario. We were having a lovely time catching up and then the evening had a surprise in store. Someone in the area had hit a small deer with their vehicle. My friend's dad skinned and gutted it in around -20C (due to the windchill) weather.