Skip to main content

Love and a cough cannot be hid

This saying has been attributed to George Herbert.

What does it mean? I think most people can intuitively understand that coughing, no matter how quiet, is still noticed. Unrequited love is romanticized.

What I think is more interesting than the saying itself is that we try to hide these things at all. Coughing is a natural body function. Yes it can be damned irritating in an office environment, but the cough is usually trying to clean your body of bad stuff. Instead of letting the coughing happen, we try to suppress it, which may actually make the cough stick around longer. Sometimes a cough does need to be tamed slightly though as it can lead to hurting other areas of the body if it's particularly vicious.

What about love? Why do spend so much time hiding our feelings for another person? What if, instead of thinking things like that the person may not feel the same way or inventing reasons why we aren't good enough, we just said something like 'I like you' or 'I want to do this thing with you' or 'You're cute' or really anything? Sure, they might not feel the same way. You envision things will be this magical fairytale-like event and s/he rejects you. Your happily-ever-after doesn't happen... yet. This is far from the end of the world! It might feel like it is, but it actually frees you to find someone that truly gets you and all your quirks! Or they might feel the same and all kinds of good stuff can happen, but you get scared about what's supposed to happen next. If that's the case, stop thinking so far ahead and live in the moment. Nothing specific is supposed to happen at any point in a relationship, in my opinion, and life experience has taught me that it's horrible to live life like that. There's enough of life that is dictated for us, so why force other things? Stop doing stuff because everyone else is (especially life-altering things like deciding to have a baby). Do things when the time feels right. But also, stop hiding everything about yourself because that person that digs you needs to see you to find you.

I think I got off on a tangent. You can't really hide how you feel about someone. Even if you aren't doing anything about it they can tell you're into them, but you're coming off as unconfident. Confidence can be really sexy, and the opposite isn't. You want them to want you, so be you and own it. Besides, you probably blather on about how amazing they are to everyone you know except them, so it's obvious to everyone you're into them. You act extra nice or maybe try to speak more intelligently around them and you probably come off as fake or cold. Or worse, they might think you have some dastardly ulterior motive. Just breathe and be your normal self around them.

But I know if you tell them how you feel things may get so awkward you'll lose them as a friend. Ask yourself why you want a friend in your life that is so easy to lose?

Ciao,
R~

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Gauntlet That Was October

I had a lot of things happen in October. I watched Frankenstein in the cemetery with friends. I had tea with a friend. I started a new sport: curling. This is really fun and I'm enjoying the level of activity it provides and all the strategic elements. I'll do a separate post on it soon. Unfortunately, soon after my first game, I came down with Covid and so did the friend who I had tea with, so I think we both caught it at the place we went to. That wasn't fun. I already posted about that. I was fortunate to be free of it in time to attend Can-Con where I took in lots of panels, saw some of the wonderful writer community, bought many new books, and volunteered to help out in the rooms. The following weekend, I went to the livestream for Danielle Allard's new album release, followed by the in person release. As part of this, she has a 6 video series that releases every Sunday on her YouTube at 1:15 PM EDT. Video number 2, Falling Into Place, is one that I feel fortunate

2023 - Week 40

I felt a touch rough on Monday. After exchanging some shoes, I needed electrolytes. The heat with the egg thing made me a bit nauseus. I had lots of fluids before having noodles for dinner. That made me feel better. When Tuesday came about, I was looking forward to what I might be learning at GSL curling in the evening. I was also excited to being on the ice as a break from the unseasonal heat. It's spooky season! It's supposed to be a cool and cuddly time. We should be wearing hoodies (or bunny hugs if you prefer). Instead, I was sweating in jeans as I simply walked from my condo building to my car. Wednesday's plan was streaming, but I also hoped to fit an exchange at Home Depot in as I got the wrong shelf size for a project. Really, my original plan for something didn't work, so I was choosing to go a different way. I did stream, but I didn't get to Home Depot. Thursday featured work followed by packing for my spooky weekend away with friends. I got my oil and my

The PWHL

I've gotten my season tickets for the inaugural season of the Professional Women's Hockey League. I had put my deposit down as soon as it was open. Am I a hockey superfan? No. I enjoy hockey. I started watching it quite a lot during my divorce. I also used to practice my slapshot against the foundation of our house when I was an angst-filled teen. I care about women in sport having amazing opportunities like this. Anyway, some people in the comments section on the posts are truly something. The league posted the schedule, which was more of a calendar without time blocks listed. They happened to post that on the day that priority purchasing was opened for the season tickets.  So then there are a bunch of people who didn't put deposits down that were complaining they can't buy tickets yet. Makes total sense 😒 And then there were a bunch of other people complaining that nothing has been announced on the streaming and televisation of the games. Some were even suggesting th