Skip to main content

Love Is Love

I keep running into queer people who worry about how the queer community will look at them.

They worry they aren't queer enough and I think they need to stop doing that to themselves.

It doesn't matter if you're currently in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. If you are attracted to the same sex or those who fall in between, you're queer.

If you're non binary and bisexual, you're queer. Yes, even if you look like a straight, white, male.

If you're trans and in a hetero presenting relationship, you're queer.

Sexual orientation is about sexual attraction. You can absolutely love someone who doesn't match your orientation. You might even enjoy sex with them.

Yeah, you may get less hostility in a straight-passing relationship, but you'll trade that for different relationship challenges.

Pride is about love. There isn't someone running around with a clipboard, a measuring device, or checking your naughty bits to determine your level of queerness.

I haven't run into anyone like that in any queer space or event. The most I've had is someone asking how I identify. Me. Not the community. Me.

Yeah, there may be some gatekeeper types around somewhere wanting everything to be pure and easily labeled, but those people are everywhere.

There's a saying about opinions being like a specific body opening that I think applies here.

You know your own experiences better than anyone else.

Even allies are welcome at Pride.

As a late bloomer lesbian, there's still a lot I'm learning, so I may have missed some things.

As far as I know, Pride is a celebration of love and I think that includes loving yourself fully, which includes the queer parts too.

And yes, it's still partly a protest because of some people who can't handle love looking different than they have been conditioned to think it should.

In conclusion, if you are queer at all, you absolutely belong. If your child/sibling/parent/cousin/friend/colleague is queer, and you want to be there for them, you belong too.

It's hard enough being queer without heaping onto yourself.

And if you don't believe me, maybe you'll believe Jenny Eastwood.

I love what she says in her article on biphobia too:

"As a community we must do better to welcome all stripes of the rainbow. The queer community is all of us — gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual and more. To treat anyone as less deserving because they aren’t gay enough is engaging in the the exact prejudice that we have spent decades marching against. The only way we can combat biphobia is by recognising this is a problem in our community and talking about it."

Please check out my digital to-do list:


Popular posts from this blog

The Gauntlet That Was October

I had a lot of things happen in October. I watched Frankenstein in the cemetery with friends. I had tea with a friend. I started a new sport: curling. This is really fun and I'm enjoying the level of activity it provides and all the strategic elements. I'll do a separate post on it soon. Unfortunately, soon after my first game, I came down with Covid and so did the friend who I had tea with, so I think we both caught it at the place we went to. That wasn't fun. I already posted about that. I was fortunate to be free of it in time to attend Can-Con where I took in lots of panels, saw some of the wonderful writer community, bought many new books, and volunteered to help out in the rooms. The following weekend, I went to the livestream for Danielle Allard's new album release, followed by the in person release. As part of this, she has a 6 video series that releases every Sunday on her YouTube at 1:15 PM EDT. Video number 2, Falling Into Place, is one that I feel fortunate

2023 - Week 40

I felt a touch rough on Monday. After exchanging some shoes, I needed electrolytes. The heat with the egg thing made me a bit nauseus. I had lots of fluids before having noodles for dinner. That made me feel better. When Tuesday came about, I was looking forward to what I might be learning at GSL curling in the evening. I was also excited to being on the ice as a break from the unseasonal heat. It's spooky season! It's supposed to be a cool and cuddly time. We should be wearing hoodies (or bunny hugs if you prefer). Instead, I was sweating in jeans as I simply walked from my condo building to my car. Wednesday's plan was streaming, but I also hoped to fit an exchange at Home Depot in as I got the wrong shelf size for a project. Really, my original plan for something didn't work, so I was choosing to go a different way. I did stream, but I didn't get to Home Depot. Thursday featured work followed by packing for my spooky weekend away with friends. I got my oil and my


I've been busy. Really busy. Life: - Making food for two long weekends (Comiccon and an Iaido seminar) - Finishing my costume for Comiccon, which is in 5 days! (Carnival Punk Buffy the Vampire Slayer) - Went to On the Brink on Friday to hear authors read. Won a book and bought a Steampunk anthology. - In training this week for work (off-site) and it's an early start for me Writing: - Editing The Page & The Magician (just finished Chapter 3) - Finished a short story called The Blood Waitress Club , which is on revision 3 and I'm just waiting for feedback before I put it up on Smashwords - I've been trying to write short stories that may fit into some anthology, but I find it harder to write with some specific criteria in mind rather than coaxing the words from my soul Guitar: - We are learning a lot of songs (Pink Floyd, The Beatles, Green Day, Black Eyed Peas, Bare Naked Ladies, Simon & Garfunkel, ABBA, Ed Sheeran, The Animals, John Fogerty, Ian Thomas) - I hav