Skip to main content

Coming Fully Out - Part II

I realized I didn't really want to come out to my dad. But I was pretty sure I hinted adequately with my rainbow items that I know he noticed, but didn't say anything about. He's silent generation, so they're good at not saying anything or downplaying things. Like he'll say something is, "not bad," while his expression and body language say it's really damn good. He did that very thing when I played Danielle Allard singing Jolene. He's listened to Dolly Parton for many decades and has always enjoyed music.

Instead, I decided to just focus on spending time with him. I helped him with things around the house like repairing the internet and TV cable. He had sawed through it with a sawsall. It had been out since May. He was getting tired of what my eldest brother was choosing for them to watch.

We also replaced a bunch of window coverings. My old room included. 

Anyway, I did those things because I could and later I thought they were actions that showed who I am. They were things I came to hope that he would think of rather than think of me in a bad way because I'm gay and I think that speaks volumes more than saying anything about this private part of my life.

On Monday, I visited Outloud and applied to be a volunteer. Despite living in Ottawa, I figured I can help remotely with my writing skills. Outloud is the local LGBTQ+ youth centre. It was nice to see a safe and inclusive place for youths where they can relax, get support, play games like billiards, and make friends.

I also got him some guitar things as he has been wanting to get back to playing, but couldn't remember the chords and such. He had a mini-stroke a couple of years ago. I wish he had told me sooner that he couldn't remember the fundamentals because I would've gotten him books and years ago and he could've been enjoying himself all this time.

When I really sat and thought about it, I realized I was feeling like I should come out because you're supposed to or something like that. The thing is, I am out to everyone I regularly interact with. I'm even out to HR and on the Pride committee at work. I see my dad twice a year. Though he's important to me, he's not in my life in the way my chosen family is. If I have a partner and he doesn't accept it, yes, it will hurt, but it's not like they'll have to spend time together if they don't want to.

Anyway, I feel like it's different with an elderly parent too. I think I felt more like it would've been nice for mom to know because she was always asking about potential men in my life, but dad and I don't talk about those things. We talk about my car, his gardening, music, etc. 

On Friday, we took him and his dog on a pontoon boat and they both had a lovely time. 

All in all, I had a good trip to my hometown and it was great seeing friends. I even came out of it with a screenplay idea that I'm so excited about, I kept waking up in the wee hours of the morning to write down notes about. I'm thinking I should take tech breaks a bit more often as they seem to have reenergized me.

Please check out my digital to-do list: https://trello.com/b/RM8yD3eq/rae-roy-general

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Under Siege

My city is under attack. I wish I was being facetious.  The so-called "freedom" convoy is here and so far this is what has transpired: 1. They parked on the war memorial. These people who call themselves patriots. This is where the Unknown Soldier rests. This is where Corporal Nathan Cirullo lost his life in October of 2014. The cars were towed, but who knows what actual repercussions they will face. 2. Later, when asked to move away from memorial, one stood and jumped on the tomb itself while others cheered.  3. Despite having port-a-potties provided for by the mayor, they've been defecating on Parliament Hill, in snowbanks, and on streets nearby.  4. Flags being flown include the Confederate flag of the United States, Trump flags, the Quebec equivalent to the Confederate flag, upside down Canada flags, regular Canada flags, Fuck Trudeau flags, libertarian flags, and ones adorned with swastikas. Yeah, this is totally about freedom rather than racism, white su

A Lot of Bullspit - 2020 ROW80 R3-W5

This week has had a lot of bullspit in it. Shortly after my last trip to buy reno supplies, I discovered mold in my bathroom. While that's not shocking, it's pretty much because they appear to have left wet drywall in the wall and covered the wall with another layer of drywall instead of properly repairing it after a leak. Geniuses. This is a mixed bag. It means I may have to do the tub area sooner than I expected. It is the same wall as the annoying peeling paint, so that's kind of good. I may just need to replace much of the wall, which is about 1.5 drywall boards because it's a small room. Cost wise, the wall repair isn't so bad. I'm not looking forward to having to deal with it, but I acquired the PPE gear for it and the mold removal supplies. Now, here's where the project may change substantially. I was originally planning to install a tub surround over the tile and then use the Rust Oleum tub restore stuff, but if there is mold in the wall, it's li

OIW - Book Cover Design Seminar

On May 22nd, I went to a seminar on book cover design. Before the information was presented on design, the author of Imposter Bride, Nancy Richler , read part of her first chapter and the story sounds intriguing. Lately, I am preferring to read the work of other Ottawa-area authors. Perhaps someday it will be my book that they read in turn. Currently, I am reading The Crimson Man by Patricia K McCarthy and though it is not in my genre, it is a fiery read. Ladies, you'll enjoy it. So far it feels heated like 50 Shades of Grey, but with more substance and a higher level of writing skill. At the beginning of the meeting, announcements were made about newly published works by members of the Ottawa Independent Writers group. The Autism Story is written as fiction by a university professor that specializes in the area. It sounds interesting as well. Nancy Richler answered questions about publishing after she completed her reading. Here is what I took from it: 1. Avoid small pr