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Scary Things

On Friday, I did the most uncomfortable thing I've ever done. What was it? I read my own published short story, The Solarium, in front of other people.

Prior to my turn at the virtual open mic night, I was really squirmy. I suppose I would've been less nervous if it hadn't been so long ago that I looked at the story that was written and published in 2016. 

As I stumbled through the words, I tried to remind myself to just slow down or try again as needed. What else could I do?

I also didn't look at the chat to see how it was going for fear I would just mess up more.

After it was over, I felt odd. My head especially. Like there was a buzzing. Or like my blood pressure was way too high.

I suppose the fight or flight response may have been triggered.

One of the issues I had while reading is that there were a couple of places that I think I have words missing or grammar issues. And it was published six years ago, so I think I should dust it off and put it out on Amazon with corrections and a cover. Soon.

I am a bit annoyed that it has mistakes in it, but that's actually quite common. Our brains fill in missing words as if they have a built-in auto correct function.

Brains. I saw a meme about brains telling themselves scary stories then being upset about the scary stories. There is also a long one about how our brains are basically soggy bacon that has become sentient.

An hour and a bit after, I felt happy about it, but also weird. I hadn't had dinner yet, so that could have been part of the odd feeling.

Anyway, all that to say, I did a scary thing and it turned out well.


As far as my goals go, you can see my to-do list here: https://trello.com/b/RM8yD3eq/rae-roy-general

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