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2023 - Week 30


Work Life: I was thankful that I didn't need to be physically in the office given that the LRT is broken. It's truly awful at this point. On Thursday, a woman who had been struck by one of the replacement buses, succumbed to her injuries. These things shouldn't be happening regardless of the LRT, but it feels like there is yet another tragedy connected to it. She was only 26-years-old.

Mood: I was anxious about not having practiced enough before the jam, but I realized it's OK to be a beginner. I think I had been placing extra stress on myself to be further along in music than I am because I used to play in music classes and  in brass band. But I'm learning new things and I'm trying to create as well. I was putting myself under pressure like that because perfectionism isn't uncommon with ADHD. It's a way I have masked how much of a dumpster fire I think I can be at times. But I'm not a dumpster fires and I shouldn't feel shame for struggling sometimes. The world isn't made for me in more ways than one and I'm doing the best I can with that. I realized that perfectionism is the kryptonite to learning.

Home Life: The late afternoon had me at the dentist for fillings. The timing was not ideal with the jam session being so soon after, but I guess that is life. The jam session was so much fun! Since it was the pride edition, a local queer musician, OK Naledi, joined us. She liked my melodica and I'm going to be freaking out about this for weeks! I saw her play at New Year's and it was so good.


Work Life: I got some things done and then my new laptop was in, so I drove downtown to pick it up. I had a stellar time catching up with a colleague. The drive home was horrendous and I will plan better in the future to avoid that shitshow.

Mood: So tired of being stuck.

Home Life: I reached out to my psychologist to talk about options regarding medications. I didn't know that they can't even refer me to a psychiatrist to get medicated! What a ridiculous system we have up here. I can understand that they can't prescribe, but wow. After a lot of searching, I found a virtual clinic and I'm hopeful that I can get some help while waiting for a referral.


Work Life: I worked all day, yet feel like I got little done. I did clear some items from my inbox at least. Part of my day was taking up installing missing software on my new laptop and fixing settings.

Mood: I'm a little bit overwhelmed, but I'm also feeling inventive due to the need to fix something frustrating.

Home Life: Aside from catching up on chores, I've designed a hopefully better set up for my keyboards, keytars, synths, and midi controllers. I went to Home Depot for some materials like one 2x4, a palm sander, and shelving pieces. I first checked online and nothing existed like I want. It'll also hold my powered speaker on the bottom shelf, which is the heaviest piece of equipment. And it'll be somewhat modular to go with changing needs. It's going to let me sell one of my keyboard stands and reclaim some space. It has wheels too, so I can move it as needed for streaming and such. 


Work Life: I believe I have finished my first tendering document. I suppose I'll know early next week after the second review.

Mood: I'm feeling good about finishing the document. It was weighing on me. New administrative things are hard for me for awhile until I understand the process and boundaries.

Home Life: An exciting thing is that a multi-use path is going in behind my condo building. It's paved and I'll be able to rollerblade far more than I have been. Currently, the other paths in the area pretty much necessitate walking to them to be able to rollerblade because the sidewalks, parking lots, and roads are in such terrible shape that injury is likely. I tried to scope out where it goes. In one direction, it will go to Blair Road, which will make it an easy connection to the LRT if that ever functions properly. I couldn't find the other end as it goes behind Jasmine Park and continues. Perhaps it goes to another path in the area.


Work Life: Nothing worth mentioning happened. It was a typical Friday.

Mood: Utterly hopeless. A doctor told me psychologists can't diagnose ADHD, but that's how I was diagnosed. According to the Canadian Mental Health Association they can, but if general practitioners won't recognize it, what was the point of anything? 

Home Life: Softball ended early due to lightning. We played just enough of a game for it to be declared a full one. We won. Then I freshened up at home and headed to a burlesque game show in Orleans. It was a good night and I highly recommend seeing Koston Kreme perform if you have the chance.


Mood: Contented. 

Event: I met up with friends at the last roller derby bouts of the season. It was nice getting back to seeing derby this year. I liked being able to help my friends understand the game. I helped some with the cleanup before going home. I may volunteer next year if I have the time available. 


Mood: Excited. I was finally going to go see The Barbie Movie with my scriptie friends. 

Event: The Barbie Movie was excellent. I didn't even love Barbie that much as a child. I was more into Nancy Drew. But it was layered, fun, and validating.


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