One Year

Dear Mom,

It was a year ago that you were found barely breathing. You were rushed to the hospital and put on life support. It would be several hours before we'd find out that you were already gone. Sometimes people can come back from a ruptured aneurysm, but you weren't one of them. 

There was a massive snowstorm in Ottawa that day. It was probably good that I had to stay put and try to pack because I wasn't in a state to drive safely. I couldn't figure out what clothing to bring. Eventually, I packed everything I had brought at Christmas, which was what I had with me when you were last alive.

A friend came to sit with me despite the horrid weather just so I wouldn't be alone. I was spinning, and it was so helpful to be able to talk about it all.

I can't remember the full timeline now, but there was a video call and my last image of you is one hooked to machines. We said goodbye, but you weren't there to hear it, so I don't know if it counts.

The next day, I went to your house and it would be a couple weeks of cleaning up. We kept finding more romance novels stashed in places. It went from frustrating to a heartwarming reminder. Mom and her Harlequins.

You were always reading and I'm sure that helped me develop a love for reading and writing despite how awful these things are often taught in school. 

I never got the chance to come out to you, but since I haven't found that wonderful woman yet, I suppose it's OK.

At the time, I hoped you'd be in line with Betty White and a grand friendship could happen that wasn't possible in life. The actress, not your aunt Betty who had a lovely blueberry farm. I wonder if that stayed in the family and I could've had a lifetime supply of blueberries...

I don't know what happens to the energy that was us after we depart this plane of existence, but I hope that if you get to come back someday, you have much more fun in your life and get to reach new heights.

Oh, it seems like I finally figured out my food issues. I wish that had taken less time, so visits would've been more enjoyable.

One last thing. My bathroom reno did finally end!