Skip to main content

Thoughtful Thursday - Insecurity

thoughtfulIt's strange listening to others sometimes.

There can be so much pettiness that it makes me wonder if there is hope for a beautiful future on this planet.

We received our marks from first semester.

For the first time in my life, I'm an A student. I've not done anything mystical to get there. I just did my homework, handed it in on time, tried my best to follow instructions, participated in discussions, and usually accepted feedback without question unless it was important to question it. My note taking is just okay. Sometimes it's dismal even. I pay attention in class. If I'm running late, I always make sure they're aware. I'm behind in all my readings, but I'm still reading the books at least.

There has been the odd person that has grumbled to me about people they don't think deserve to stay in the program. Sometimes it's a general nameless grumble and other times it's specific.

I don't think this is a positive mindset nor professional behaviour. It's okay to admit when you don't have synergy with someone and would rather not work with them, but it's shitty to claim you belong and they don't.

Especially if you've never seen their work, yours is garbage, and you're a terrible group partner.

I find it's insecure people who spend their time complaining about someone else instead of putting the work in that will improve their skills.

Every day we make choices. If you spend more time gaming and reading junk than you do on your craft, maybe this isn't for you.

Regardless, until you've been in the industry for many years and have earned a place by showing you can do good work and many other things we don't yet know, maybe let the teachers decide who deserves to be in the program and who doesn't.

I see an A like a brown belt. To the average person, it looks like I'm close to mastery. To most martial artists, it's the beginning of a long road that may eventually become mastery. At least, I hope it will. In the martial arts I practice, there are 9 black belt levels. In one art, I'm at level 2. In the other, I'm basically at brown belt level. With both, I know there's a ton more to learn.

Which can only happen if I choose to be willing to learn. It's up to me to decide whether or not to take each assignment seriously. I decide whether or not I show up every day ready to listen and work hard.

I'm sorry if any of this seems harsh. I'm running on little sleep and half my lunch fell on the ground earlier, so perhaps I'm still grumpy from that. Or maybe I'm just tired of hearing bullshit from people who display the behaviour they claim to hate.

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
- Mahatma Ghandi

If Ghandi doesn't work for you, maybe someone more modern who gives a similar message with more direction is better for you.

And that's how it flows today.
R~

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Under Siege

My city is under attack. I wish I was being facetious.  The so-called "freedom" convoy is here and so far this is what has transpired: 1. They parked on the war memorial. These people who call themselves patriots. This is where the Unknown Soldier rests. This is where Corporal Nathan Cirullo lost his life in October of 2014. The cars were towed, but who knows what actual repercussions they will face. 2. Later, when asked to move away from memorial, one stood and jumped on the tomb itself while others cheered.  3. Despite having port-a-potties provided for by the mayor, they've been defecating on Parliament Hill, in snowbanks, and on streets nearby.  4. Flags being flown include the Confederate flag of the United States, Trump flags, the Quebec equivalent to the Confederate flag, upside down Canada flags, regular Canada flags, Fuck Trudeau flags, libertarian flags, and ones adorned with swastikas. Yeah, this is totally about freedom rather than racism, white su

A Lot of Bullspit - 2020 ROW80 R3-W5

This week has had a lot of bullspit in it. Shortly after my last trip to buy reno supplies, I discovered mold in my bathroom. While that's not shocking, it's pretty much because they appear to have left wet drywall in the wall and covered the wall with another layer of drywall instead of properly repairing it after a leak. Geniuses. This is a mixed bag. It means I may have to do the tub area sooner than I expected. It is the same wall as the annoying peeling paint, so that's kind of good. I may just need to replace much of the wall, which is about 1.5 drywall boards because it's a small room. Cost wise, the wall repair isn't so bad. I'm not looking forward to having to deal with it, but I acquired the PPE gear for it and the mold removal supplies. Now, here's where the project may change substantially. I was originally planning to install a tub surround over the tile and then use the Rust Oleum tub restore stuff, but if there is mold in the wall, it's li

OIW - Book Cover Design Seminar

On May 22nd, I went to a seminar on book cover design. Before the information was presented on design, the author of Imposter Bride, Nancy Richler , read part of her first chapter and the story sounds intriguing. Lately, I am preferring to read the work of other Ottawa-area authors. Perhaps someday it will be my book that they read in turn. Currently, I am reading The Crimson Man by Patricia K McCarthy and though it is not in my genre, it is a fiery read. Ladies, you'll enjoy it. So far it feels heated like 50 Shades of Grey, but with more substance and a higher level of writing skill. At the beginning of the meeting, announcements were made about newly published works by members of the Ottawa Independent Writers group. The Autism Story is written as fiction by a university professor that specializes in the area. It sounds interesting as well. Nancy Richler answered questions about publishing after she completed her reading. Here is what I took from it: 1. Avoid small pr